Title: Moldywarts and the Curse of the Killer Flu
Author: Alexa Deimos and Cassandra Riley
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Neither of us created Harry Potter, we just have a lot of fun making stuff up about him.
Moldywarts and the Curse of the Killer Flu
Moldywarts grinned evilly. This would surely bring about Potter’s downfall. Grasping the jar protectively in his hands, he signalled for Snape to let the boy in.
“Voldemort!” Harry said on arrival. “I have come to destroy you once and for all!”
Moldywarts grinned. “And how, Potter, do you propose to do that?”
“I have the power you know not!” Harry insisted.
“And what, pray tell, is that?”
“Well, I’m not going to tell you, am I, because then you’ll know it.”
Moldywarts frowned. “Good point, well made.”
Harry grinned triumphantly and brandished his wand.
“Well, it is of no matter,” Moldywarts continued conversationally. “Because you see, unbeknownst to you, I also have a power that you and that fool Dumbledore know not.”
Harry looked for a moment uncertain, but then, confidently, he said, “You’re lying.”
Moldywarts scowled. “I am not. Don’t be foolish. With this invention shall I smite you.”
“Liar, liar, pants on fire,” taunted Harry.
“Well, don’t you want to know what I have in store for you?”
“No!” Harry said quickly, but he seemed less than sure.
“Well, I’m going to tell you anyway,” Moldywarts grinned. “The flu!” he declared.
“What?!” Harry said, puzzled. “Flu?”
“Indeed,” Moldywarts agreed. “Flu.” He flaunted the jar in front of Harry’s nose. “This, Harry Potter, is a more dangerous substance than you, the Boy Who Lived, could ever hope to lay your filthy hands on. This is… Killer Flu!”
Harry stared disbelievingly at the jar. “Are you sure? It looks like a cloud to me.”
“Of course I’m sure!” Moldy snapped, affronted.
Meanwhile, in the background, Snape watched the encounter with a quiet interest, staring almost continually at Moldywarts’ bald patch.
“Kill!” Moldywarts cried with gusto, and cackling evilly he unscrewed the jar, while Harry watched with mounting trepidation. With a final flourish, Moldywarts threw the open jar at Harry, who, in his shock, simply stood there, mouth open.
POP, went Harry, and Moldywarts stared at the spot where Harry had stood in confusion. A loud ZZZZZZZ noise emerged buzzing from where Harry had been.
Warily, Moldywarts took a step backwards, unsure of what was happening.
“My Lord,” Snape said. “Perhaps it was the wrong jar?”
“Well then fly, fool, fly, and get me the right one!” Moldywarts cried angrily. “Where is that damn Potter brat?”
ZZZZZZZ, came the reply from behind Moldywarts ear, and Harry proceeded to sting and bite every available piece of skin of Moldywarts enthusiastically. Snape watched with horrified fascination, before recovering himself and racing off to get the jar.
Moments later he returned with the correct jar, which he lobbed at Moldywarts. Unfortunately, it hit him on the head, and Snape only just ducked the vengeful killing curse that flew his way.
Moldywarts fumbled for the lid of the jar. “Have this, Potter!” and he threw the jar into the air where the buzzing was coming from. With a CRACK, Harry appeared, looking slightly relieved and then alarmed at the bizarre amount of coughing and sneezing coming from him.
“Damn! (sneeze) I’ve (cough) got Killer (splutter) Flu!”
Snape snickered, and Harry staggered into him with a giant sneeze, knocking him over.
Presently, Harry gave an enormous splutter and died in a frenzy of coughing.
Laughing insanely, Moldywarts turned and left the room calling “Come, Severus! It is time to celebrate!”
“Coming (sneeze) my Lord!”
